By Sydney Wolfe at Lexichronic
If you are new to buying weed, your dealer has gone MIA, or you relocated to a new city, there are unwritten rules to getting a new dependable source for green.
Just like a new job or even a new girlfriend, relationships are best begun with a good referral. The same goes for your dealer. You want to make a good first impression as a trusted client, and in the world of WEED, dependability and discreetness is a mutual form of respect.
Follow these rules of new buyer etiquette to build the best relationship: DANK weed on a regular basis.
1. THE OPENING
Whether you’re meeting your dealer in person or you’re given their contact information to text them, be discreet. Being overheard in public saying, ‘You got weed?’ or texting the same is a good way to terminate the relationship before its even begun.
Some examples of a good opening: ‘What up? got any?’ ‘Hey man, you good?’ or ‘Got any flowers?’
2. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
Dealers are rarely on time, and you can’t blame ‘em. They’re either delivering on foot to your location or caught up with a deal that was to be filled before yours. And they are likely on STONER time. Dealers are humans too, so be patient.
3. KNOW THE LANGUAGE
There’s nothing worse than getting to the front of the food ordering line and not knowing what you want. It’s awkward and the guy behind the counter doesn’t want to stare at you either. Know the slang for weights so when your dealer asks what you want, you can order appropriately.
4. THE HANDSHAKE
Dealers who want to meet in the street expect a pass and go handshake. If you can’t do it, learn how to and practice with a friend for discreet hand-offs in public.
5. GO IT ALONE
Weed deals, no matter how casual, aren’t an open invitation. Unless your friends are your new referrals, don’t bring the girlfriend or coworkers to pick up pot with you. And don’t send anyone to pick up for you unless it’s established with your dealer ahead of time.
6. DEALER DEALS
New clients usually get a heavier bag the first time, and over time, you don’t get the same ‘deal’. If the dealer doesn’t specify why, there’s no shame in asking how much is in the bag, but don’t be offended if he’s gone back to the normally offered weight.
7. BONGS AND BABES GO TOGETHER LIKE…
Ladies, if you’re really friendly or just flirtatious, you can score a bigger bag than your male counterparts. The. Struggle.
8. EXACT CHANGE = MANNERS
No one wants to deal with you having to get change for smaller quantities. Especially for something as small as a dime bag.
9. OBJECTS SHOWN TO SCALE
Scales small and light enough to carry with you are ideal and somewhat polite. Having a scale makes it easier for you to purchase larger quantities or ‘weight’. Be sure to ask before you weigh, if your dealer may be bothered by it.
10. KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SMOKING
You wouldn’t just drink whatever someone tosses in front of you at a bar, would you? For shame…Ask your dealer what strain or blend of strains you’re buying. Study up on a marijuana app and familiarize yourself with what good PIFF really looks like and if you’re into a CANNABIS INDICA or CANNABIS SATIVA.
11. RETURN THE FAVOR
When the time is right, right? If your dealer has some time, offer to smoke them up. It’ll give you some time to build a friendly relationship and maybe get you better service in the future.
12. PRECIOUS CARGO
Now, to get your precious cargo home. Smaller quantities are easiest to stash, and less likely to smell on your journey home. Pick up a discreet stash container like a stealth highlighter or can. If you have a larger quantity, rolling your bags into air-tight containers will keep the smell to a minimum.
13. CONSISTENCY IS KEY
Just as any relationship goes, try to keep your dealer circle small. Word gets around and you want to be comfortable yet respectful enough with your dealer to request what you need as your needs change. Whether you want dabs one week or flowers the next, approach each deal with professionalism.
Finally, keep note of the current price of weed. Especially in areas where it isn’t necessarily legal or locally grown, supply and demand comes into play.
You could have copped a gram for $20 from your last dealer, months ago, and that price could have fluctuated. It’s best to ask your friends how much they are paying for different quantities and measure based on quality of strains.
Be smart, stay informed and good luck!